🎬 New: Watch Episode 2 — Your FCS Report Arrived, Now What? (what to do after the mediation this article prepares you for).

If you have a custody or visitation dispute in a California family court case, you will almost certainly be sent to Family Court Services (FCS) before a judge decides anything. For many parents, the FCS session is the single most consequential hour of their case — and most walk in without understanding what it is.

This guide explains how FCS custody mediation works, why your county’s rules matter so much, and how to prepare. It is legal education, not legal advice; for guidance on your own case, consult a lawyer.

What Family Court Services Is

California law requires parents who cannot agree on custody or visitation to attend mediation before the court hears their dispute (Family Code section 3170). Every superior court runs an office for this — most call it Family Court Services; some call it Child Custody Recommending Counseling (CCRC) or the mediation office.

The mediator (or recommending counselor) is a trained professional — not the judge, and not your advocate. Their job is to help parents reach an agreement about a parenting plan. What happens if you don’t agree depends entirely on which kind of county you’re in.

Recommending vs. Confidential Counties — the First Thing to Check

California counties follow one of two models:

In a recommending county, if parents don’t reach agreement, the mediator writes a recommendation to the judge — often including a proposed parenting schedule. Judges read these before the hearing, and they carry real weight. Your FCS session, in effect, may function as your first hearing.

In a confidential county, what’s said in mediation stays in mediation. If you don’t agree, the court is told only that no agreement was reached.

The preparation strategy is different in each. In a recommending county, you are — practically speaking — presenting your case. In a confidential county, you can explore options more freely.

Find your county’s model here: Is Your County a Recommending County or a Confidential County? — all 58 counties, with links to each court’s FCS page.

What to Expect at the Session

A few things surprise almost every parent:

You will likely be in the room (or on the video call) without your attorney. In most counties, lawyers do not attend FCS mediation. It is you, the other parent, and the mediator.

The mediator probably has not read your file. Whatever picture they form comes from what you bring and how you present yourself in the session.

Where there have been allegations of domestic violence, you have the right to meet separately — you do not have to sit in the same room with the other parent, and you may be entitled to bring a support person. Tell FCS in advance.

Sessions are shorter than parents expect — often one to two hours to cover everything about your children’s lives.

How to Prepare

Preparation for FCS is not about rehearsing grievances. The parents who serve their children — and themselves — best in this process tend to do a few concrete things:

1. Learn your county’s model and local rules first. (Recommending or confidential — see the lookup above.)

2. Bring a specific proposal, not a feeling. “I want more time” gives a mediator nothing to work with. A written week-by-week schedule — school pickups, weekends, holidays, exchanges — gives them something concrete. Common patterns include 2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, and week-on/week-off, but the right proposal is the one that fits your children’s actual lives.

3. Stay focused on the children. The mediator’s frame is the best interest of your children — their ages, routines, school, health, and relationship with each parent. Points framed around the children’s needs land. Points framed around the other parent’s faults usually don’t.

4. Practice saying your two or three most important points calmly. Composure is part of credibility.

5. Never feel pressured to sign on the spot. If you reach an agreement in the session, you are generally entitled to take it home, read every line, and get advice before signing. Once signed and adopted by the court, it becomes an order.

After the Session

In a recommending county, if there’s no agreement, the mediator’s recommendation goes to the judge — but the recommendation is not the order. The judge decides, and you will have the opportunity to be heard at your hearing. If the recommendation goes against you, that is the moment to prepare carefully, not to panic.

In a confidential county, the case simply proceeds to hearing, and what you said in mediation stays out of it.

Go Deeper

Free 15-minute video — the five things every California parent should know before FCS mediation: Watch Episode 1

Free printable checklist — the 15 FCS dos and don’ts: Get the checklist

The complete workbook — 14 fill-in worksheets and the all-58-counties reference, in paperback and Kindle editions: FCS Mediation Ready — CA

Prefer to prepare one-on-one? Limited-scope FCS preparation

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Family Court Ready — California, with Jennifer J. Moore, California family law attorney. This article is legal education, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Court procedures vary by county and change over time — always confirm current local rules with your county’s court. Attorney advertising: Jennifer J. Moore, responsible attorney, Law Office of Jennifer J. Moore, Folsom, California. No outcome is promised or guaranteed.

📄 Free guide for after your mediation: Your FCS Report: What to Do Next — a free guide with worksheets from Jennifer J. Moore, California family law attorney. How to read the report, your three choices at the hearing, and how to plan your response.